I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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