so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
