he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
