i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
