Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
