Pants 0. Shit 1.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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