my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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