Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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