i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
