I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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