I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
