do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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