I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
