ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
