Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
