I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
