The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
