Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize