Sry I called you an 8
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize