Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
