bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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