Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
