If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
