God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
