Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
