You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
