Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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