I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
