Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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