I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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