She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
