Where is the hickey?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
