Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize