so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
