If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize