I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
