had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize