but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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