STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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