My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
