I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
