lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
