Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
