she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
