I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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