My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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