Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize