So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
