im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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