Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
