i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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