i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I touched a dick in church today
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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