In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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