remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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