Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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