two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
