i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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