i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
