you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
