I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
