so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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