Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize