is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
