so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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