my sisters under your porch take her home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
