Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
