I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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