what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
