I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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