1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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