i will never coherently bang her
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just had sex on a roof
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
