we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
