It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
