I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You ate ashes out of my bong
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
