Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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