they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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