Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
