office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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