to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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