wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Randomize
