I seem to have left my pride at pride
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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