hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
